ben

The other day Ben sits down next to me and asks, "So. What is your plan for fixing Alex's Tooberniculosis?" So cute, but heartbreaking at the same time. He's really starting to miss having a typical sibling relationship. I told him I would if I could, but nothing could really cure Alex's Tuberous Sclerosis. He told me he really wished Alex could talk. Me too, Ben. Me too.

Play therapy went well. Actually, there wasn't a whole lot of therapy going on...rather a lot of me voicing my concerns and answering questions while Ben played with the toys. As we were driving there, he asked me (for the second time) if this was a doctor that would give him the flu shot. I told him (for the second time) that no, it wasn't that type of doctor, that the doctor we were going to see was more of a brain doctor...someone who helped you to feel happy, not one who gives you shots. He then said, "You mean this doctor doesn't help me stay alive?? Yes!! I love doctors that don't help me stay alive!" He cracks me up.

Anyway, from the initial visit, the therapist doesn't feel that he's an overly anxious child. She told me that an anxious child would present differently...not be so at ease with her and her office. She also said that his fascination with all things violent is normal as 1) he's a boy and 2) he's seen movies/games portraying violence (such as lightsaber duels). Also, he's playing around with violence during play rather than threatening violence while angry. She'll be able to tell me more about what he might be feeling in terms of anger/resentment with the Alex situation once she's played with him and gotten to know him better.

Also talked with his teacher today. She said she had concerns about his ability to stay focused on his work. He finds it really difficult to not get sidetracked (this is just like his daddy, by the way). I'm not too worried about ADD, as he has the ability to stay on task just fine when it's something he's actually interested in. I let her know that he's known the alphabet and the sounds each letter makes since he was three. I told her he's reading. She said she figured he might be, but he just isn't interested when she tries to test him on it. During reading group, he just won't stay focused. And he doesn't like all the worksheets and fine motor stuff. I told her he's always been a perfectionist, trying to wait until he knows he can do something well to even attempt it. With talking, he didn't say much until he was talking in two word sentences, and it quickly grew to 3-4 word sentences a week or so later. He doesn't attempt to sing songs until he's heard them enough to have them memorized. He doesn't like to write because it makes him feel incompetent. I've tried explaining to him that fine motor skills isn't something he can perfect without practicing. The teacher said he wasn't being naughty or anything, just that he isn't following directions (talking when he isn't supposed to, daydreaming when he's supposed to be paying attention, etc). We'll just continue talking with him and letting him know that it's his job to work and pay attention at school...she said by the end of the year, he'll have gotten it down.

What a major ramble!