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So Jeremy decided to send this to the grumpy residential specialist:

Karen forwarded this to me, and at the time I wasn't sure what to say. I was quite taken aback by your very condescending tone and unwillingness to believe that Karen might actually be in tune with Alex's pain. This is surprising, considering her track record - she discovered many of Alex's problems before doctors did, including a staph infection at [previous group home], infantile spasms, and a prior tooth problem.

Now that Karen's concerns were not only proven true, but very serious (5 teeth were pulled, 5 fillings given, a crown, AND a root canal), I hope you will take a deeper look before assuming she's just making random diagnoses with no rhyme or reason. I also expect her to be treated respectfully by you, and not just dismissed like some crazy mom who constantly freaks out about imaginary issues.

Dentists can't always see much in Alex's mouth, but as his parents, we can often tell when he's in pain. I'd think that would be obvious given Alex's situation, but apparently it wasn't.

And his reply:
Jeremy,

Regarding the tone of my e-mail, you're correct. It was tense and not appropriate for a person in my position. I apologize. Please understand, at the time of the initial writing AE did get timely dental attention at OHSU and (given the OARs) we can only follow what authorized medical practitioners tell us to do. Again, I apologize.

Now...should we drop it, or kindly remind him that he did NOT get timely dental attention? February 23rd was his local dental appt where the staff just left after being told it'd be a two hour wait (rather than say they'd be back in two hours and explain his situation)...and he didn't get seen initally at OHSU until April 6th. That's over 40 days of waiting. I don't think we're gonna drop it.