I just got a call from the Salem school district apologizing profusely that we weren't notified of the school meeting this NEXT Tuesday at 8am. I got a call from the caseworker saying she'd been notified of the meeting and wanted to make sure we were notified and that the time worked for us. Uhhh...nope. So today someone from the district called, mortified, and will see if she can change the date to Monday. If so, I'll likely be running up there for that. If not, we'll have to make do with a crappy phone conference (I hate speaker phone!). Of course, this is just for a short term plan. I think they're planning on pretty much following his current IEP and then meet again the end of April to make up his new IEP....and that April one is the one I need to be at for sure. They only have three days of school next week, and then they're out for spring break. If we get the meeting in next week, then Alex can go to school after break.
It's really sad that everyone is so surprised when there are parents that actually want to be involved in their kid's life after sending them to live in a "State Op" facility. Those poor kids who just get shipped away...out of sight, out of mind.
It's already bad enough that I feel like I'm missing all of Alex's life. I don't get to be there to see those good days, those smiles that light up the whole world. It's a little scary how easily accustomed we've become to life without Alex. It's quiet. It's peaceful. It's a whole lot cleaner around here. I can leave valuables on the counter. I could go on and on about how much "better" things are....but dammit, it shouldn't have to be this way. There's a huge hole where Alex should be. I'll be going along and then notice that I haven't thought of Alex for hours. That just doesn't seem right. We desperately want to be a part of his life, a HUGE part of his life, but we're not able. At least not right now. I have to keep reminding myself that he's alive and well. It could be a lot worse.
2 comments:
Karen, just remember this is temporary. One way or another you will be close by him; either he will move to a closer facility when he is 10, or maybe you will relocate. It won't be this way forever, and in a matter of months (ok, like 24 months) you will able to attend every single IEP at the spur of the moment's notice. (On a side note, in Ca it would have been illegal for them to schedule the IEP without your consent and confirmation. Mike does about 3 IEP's a week) Don't feel guilty for a clean house or gaps in time when you aren't constantly worrying about him. You deserve a break too, a long term break. All of us know that you will be there for Alex at 110% for your entire life. By resting and enjoying quiet family time now, you are in fact, preparing yourself for that lifetime commitment.
Karen, you're such a wonderful person and a fantastic parent. Even though this is a different role in his life... that doesn't take away from that. You are still being a wonderful parent to Alex even if you're not there all the time. I think of you guys a million times a day and I'm sorry if Alex's absence has created more stress. I can't imagine being in your place. Hugs to you and your family.
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