Alex's behaviorist came over this evening to visit. Alex was thrilled to death to have company. He was so crazy hyper, which was nice for her to see a different side of him, but wow. He was giggling like crazy and scratching and play biting and then real biting....he was being so rough, but it was all him trying to be playful. I felt so bad...she had scratches down her arms and bite marks right back up them. He was just out of control happy-crazy. I've never seen him act this way with people (other than us). Usually he's really happy to have company and is happy and giggly, but he gives people some space...and never has bitten and scratched like that. When he's done that to Jeremy or me, it's been after he's been riled up by rough housing, jumping on the bed or something like that. This time he was like that from the start. He was so worked up that he couldn't eat dinner. He just couldn't calm down long enough to concentrate. So we put him to bed, and he was unhappy until after she left. Then we brought him back down, and he ate dinner....and is now sleeping. Whew. So intense!
And poor Ben. People are always coming to see and work with Alex. It's bad enough that Alex gets so much of his parents' attention on a daily basis...but then to have these fun people come over and play fun things with Alex and talk about Alex and his parents talk to them about Alex. It's always Alex, Alex, Alex! (Did you get the Brady Bunch reference there? Good.) I wish we'd had the money to put him in preschool. I can't wait for him to start kindergarten this fall so he'll be getting to do something fun just for him. He'll get his own attention from his own teachers. He'll be the one to bring home neat arts and crafts. He'll get the chance to shine.
Ben knows Alex has a "bad thing" growing in his brain. But when he was asked if he felt sad or scared about it, he said no...that Alex liked having it there and it made him (Alex) happy. I'm wondering if Ben sort of wishes he had something growing in his brain so he'd get a lot of special attention too. I hate treating them differently. Alex isn't expected to close the screen door after himself, but if Ben forgets then he has someone nagging at him to remember to close the door. Alex isn't expected to do a lot of things, because cognitively Alex can't do them. However, Ben can't really understand that.
I remember when I was little, I wished I could be in a wheelchair. I thought it was so great that they got to sit wherever they went. Their legs never got tired. They got lots of attention. And they didn't have to worry about being bad at the P.E. game du jour. It seemed comfy, safe and secure to be in a wheelchair. Of course, as I grew older I understood just how lucky I was to be able to use my legs...but at the time, I really really wanted it. I wonder how much that would have been magnified if I'd had a sibling who was in that wheelchair getting a lot of my parents' attention? Though maybe it wouldn't have been. Perhaps I would have gotten to see the other side: needing help moving from the chair to the bed, needing help going to the bathroom, not being able to play hide and seek very well. Perhaps Ben isn't always thinking Alex has it great since he gets to see the negative side to Alex's disability. Maybe. I hope so. It's so hard parenting children with such different needs and abilities.
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